Living Today
By Samantha W.
The year I graduated from high school held a note of melancholy.
Everything I’d known was about to change. New choices and
responsibilities closed in around me, and I felt overwhelmed by it all.
The day was on a Saturday when I decided to go through the bottom drawer of my dresser. It held all the little trinkets and mementos I’d kept over the years. Memories came to the surface as I pulled out each item. A smile touched my lips, though an underlying sadness lay hidden in the corners of my heart. That’s when my hand found my old friend.
“Hello, B, it’s been a long time.” I sat back on my heels, cradling the clear, airtight bag in my arms. Inside was the soft, green blanket, which shared many moments with me.
A pang of deep longing brought tears to my eyes, thinking of the security B had always given. May I tell you a secret? I wished I could be a little girl again. Back then, troubles were nothing more urgent than having to eat the green beans on my dinner plate. I never had to face those ever-pressing worries of an adult world, like jobs, finances, and responsibilities.
I know God’s Word says I shouldn’t worry, but it’s not easy to have the faith of a child. If something went wrong, I could go to Mama. Crawling up on her lap always made me feel better. Even though I’m still her “Baby,” I think she’d draw the line if I did it now. I have grown a bit over the years, after all. It wouldn’t be as comfortable for either of us. However, I miss letting Mama handle things. Having someone to be there for me always—to help make decisions, to take charge when something goes wrong— is one of the best reassurances.
Okay, yes, I’m aware God’s Word says He will never leave me or forsake me. When I am busy, I have a tendency to forget this promise. Time gets away with me.
My mom used to say, “Don’t try to grow up too fast. Enjoy being a kid while you can. It goes by quick.”
I took her words to heart and found out she was right. Kids grow up like weeds, and I was no exception. I went kicking and screaming into adulthood. (They were silent screams and kicks, but heartfelt nonetheless.)
I knew it could never be what it was. And maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing, for being a kid again would mean going backward in my relationships with God, my family, and friends. My experiences, some pleasant, some not so pleasant have shaped me into the person I am; taught me how to stand and grow. I have become wiser, stronger, and more seasoned over time. Did I really want to lose this maturity?
No, I didn’t want to go back. I sighed and placed the blanket back in the drawer. Thinking in this light made me wish I were even more mature to face my present position. Impatient with situations, circumstances, and yes, even myself, I thought somewhere in the future everything would be hunky-dory. I wanted the results without doing the work.
Yet maybe it’s the steps along the journey of life, which make the trip memorable, God seemed to say.
I broke down and cried.
Life is a most precious gift God has given me. I didn’t want to waste it by wishing things are different. If I try to live in the past of yesterday or pine for the tomorrow, I miss the wonderful moment of today. Instead of wishing things were different, maybe I should make the most out of every opportunity.
The day was on a Saturday when I decided to go through the bottom drawer of my dresser. It held all the little trinkets and mementos I’d kept over the years. Memories came to the surface as I pulled out each item. A smile touched my lips, though an underlying sadness lay hidden in the corners of my heart. That’s when my hand found my old friend.
“Hello, B, it’s been a long time.” I sat back on my heels, cradling the clear, airtight bag in my arms. Inside was the soft, green blanket, which shared many moments with me.
A pang of deep longing brought tears to my eyes, thinking of the security B had always given. May I tell you a secret? I wished I could be a little girl again. Back then, troubles were nothing more urgent than having to eat the green beans on my dinner plate. I never had to face those ever-pressing worries of an adult world, like jobs, finances, and responsibilities.
I know God’s Word says I shouldn’t worry, but it’s not easy to have the faith of a child. If something went wrong, I could go to Mama. Crawling up on her lap always made me feel better. Even though I’m still her “Baby,” I think she’d draw the line if I did it now. I have grown a bit over the years, after all. It wouldn’t be as comfortable for either of us. However, I miss letting Mama handle things. Having someone to be there for me always—to help make decisions, to take charge when something goes wrong— is one of the best reassurances.
Okay, yes, I’m aware God’s Word says He will never leave me or forsake me. When I am busy, I have a tendency to forget this promise. Time gets away with me.
My mom used to say, “Don’t try to grow up too fast. Enjoy being a kid while you can. It goes by quick.”
I took her words to heart and found out she was right. Kids grow up like weeds, and I was no exception. I went kicking and screaming into adulthood. (They were silent screams and kicks, but heartfelt nonetheless.)
I knew it could never be what it was. And maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing, for being a kid again would mean going backward in my relationships with God, my family, and friends. My experiences, some pleasant, some not so pleasant have shaped me into the person I am; taught me how to stand and grow. I have become wiser, stronger, and more seasoned over time. Did I really want to lose this maturity?
No, I didn’t want to go back. I sighed and placed the blanket back in the drawer. Thinking in this light made me wish I were even more mature to face my present position. Impatient with situations, circumstances, and yes, even myself, I thought somewhere in the future everything would be hunky-dory. I wanted the results without doing the work.
Yet maybe it’s the steps along the journey of life, which make the trip memorable, God seemed to say.
I broke down and cried.
Life is a most precious gift God has given me. I didn’t want to waste it by wishing things are different. If I try to live in the past of yesterday or pine for the tomorrow, I miss the wonderful moment of today. Instead of wishing things were different, maybe I should make the most out of every opportunity.
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